(cut to inside, McCain reaching from bed and shouting into phone)

Who the fuck are you and why are you calling me at Three AM, you fucking cunt?

(a pause)

Bomb the mother fuckers.

(pause)

Bomb the bastards! Bomb em to the stone age!

(McCain slams phone down and goes back to sleep)

 (cut to scene, next day, white house briefing room. General Smith hands a report to McCain.)

Mission Accomplished, Mr President. Spain has been bombed off the map as ordered.

(McCain nods, then slowly stops. he looks up at the General with a vague sense of confusion on his face)

What was that last part?

(fade to black)

…

Some observations from the first debate between Obama and McCain. McCain made good his promise to bring a crotchety old man to the election. All he needed was a cane and shout at Obama to get off his lawn. 

(McCain shakes cane angrily) You lousy kids just don’t understand what it’s like!

The question folks should be asking themselves is:

Would I really want InSane McCain with launch codes during the Cuban Missile Crisis?

Hell no.

The other observation was how much McCain wanted to talk about experience, except when experience would show how fundamentally wrong he was.

At one point, McCain went on a long shpeel about how he was against sending troops to Lebannon, for the first Gulf War, for Kosovo, against Somolia…. and then his recollection of history… STOPS.  McCain was vehemently for the 2003 invasion of Iraq, that quagmire we’re in now, but McCain never mentioned that.

McCain’s version of world history appears to start around the time of Alexander the Great and to stop at Bill Clinton’s presidency. The next several years of history appear to have been a casualty in McCain’s battle with Alzheimer’s.

When Obama mentioned that McCain was for the invasion of Iraq, mentioned that McCain said there were WMD’s in Iraq, mentioned that McCain said Iraq would be easy, mentioned that McCain said we’d be welcomed as liberators, when Obama pointed out just how wrong McCain was about the current mess we are in right now, McCain suddenly wanted to focus on the future.

 ”The next president won’t have to decide if we invade Iraq or not” McCain said.

Is Early Stage Alzheimer’s setting in for you, McCain?

Will the next president not have to decide whether we have to BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB IRAN you crotchety old fuck?

Will the next president never have to decide whether we should bomb Spain?

Will the next president never have to decide whether to bomb al queda targets inside Pakistan?

Are you saying that the next president will be faced with an intenational theater in which his only job is mopping up THE STUPID WAR YOU VOTED FOR???

North Korea suddenly drop off the map, McCain?

Russia has lost all interest in Georgia?

Somalia has stopped pirating ships and vessels in international waters?

The president will not have to decide whether to invade Iraq or not, because you totally fucked that one up for us already. Thanks to you, McCain, we’ve been in Iraq longer than we were fighting in WW2.

But are you saying the next president won’t have to worry about using military force in any new engagements? That we needn’t worry about any new threats? Have you somehow magically divined that the next four to eight years will be free of such incidents?

 What the fuck kind of a world to you live in that your profound demonstration of piss poor judgement in the past is suddenly unimportant to the kinds of decisions you’ll make in the future?

 John McCain was stumping to invade Iraq as early as October of 2001 on the David Letterman show. He tried to blame Iraq for the anthrax attacks that came from america. Before the invasion, McCain told everyone it would be easy, that we would find WMD’s there, that we would be welcomed as liberators.

And suddenly, McCain doesn’t want to focus on his experience? Suddenly, the office of presidency is nothing more than a janitorial position intended to clean up the 8 years of Bush/McCain decisions?

John McCain made a point to talk about Eisenhower before D-Day and two letters he wrote, one was a congratulations of victory and one was a resignation because of defeat. John McCain talked about FIRING the SEC chairman, about finding the people responsible for making bad decisions and kicking them out. And yet, by McCain’s own logic, the SEC chairman could simply respond to calls for his resignation by saying

“Hey! It’s not like the next SEC chairman will have to decide whether to allow the country to slide into the worst economic failure since the great depression, right? Why focus on the past? What are the sorts of decisions we need to make going forward?”

And yet John McCain clearly made a fucked up decision to rally the country into a stupid war for stupid reasons and stupid plans that were sketched out on a napkin. MCCAIN VOTED TO INVADE IRAQ.

And his response to Obama pointing out MCCAIN’S TOTAL FAILURE to make the right command decision about Iraq is to sidestep his own responsibility, to sidestep saying I FUCKED UP.

Obama: Hey Grandpa, did I ever mention the time you VOTED FOR THE INVASION OF IRAQ?

McCain: Listen, you little snot-nosed kid, the next president isn’t going to have to decide whether to invade Iraq or not, OK? You little cunt. That bad decision has already been made, and we don’t have to worry about someone making that decision again. You just don’t understand.

Short McCain: MISTAKES WERE MADE, WHO MADE THEM ISN”T IMPORTANT. 

Straight talk express, my ass. This guy has shown himself to be a complete political weasel. Whenever things got really tough during the debate, McCain would invoke some emotive plea about dead soldiers (soldiers he voted to war), or about how he would take care of veterans (many veterans groups give McCain a lousy score on his voting record) or the fact that he’d been a prisoner of war.

McCain: Did I ever tell you the story about the time I was a POW in Vietnam?

Obama: Every day, Grandpa. Every god damn day.

 Apparently the “straight talk express” means telling you exactly what you want to hear.   source

John McCain is a George W. Bush suck up and kiss ass.

Check out the lower right photo. Get a fricken room, you two!

John McCain voted in support of George W. Bush 91 percent of the time. His campaign staff includes 134 lobbyists who have lobbied for dictators, big oil companies and every corporate special interest you can think of. source.

“he (George W. Bush) WILL NOT SQUANDER this unique moment in history by allowing America to retreat behind empty threats, false promises, and uncertain diplomacy. He will confidently defend our interests and values wherever they are threatened.”
– John McCain, 1 August 2000, Republican National Convention source

“by supporting George W. Bush I serve my country well.”
– John McCain, 1 August 2000, Republican National Convention. source

“I think the president (George W. Bush) is doing a great job in leading America and making us aware of the challenge we face.”
– John McCain, 21 October 2001. source

“I am proud of the leadership of the President of the United States (George W. Bush).”
– John McCain, 19 March 2003, shortly before the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq. source

“I believe the President of the United States (George W. Bush) has done EVERYTHING NECCESSARY and has EXERCISED EVERY OPTION short of war, which has led us to the point we are today.”
– John McCain, 19 March 2003, shortly before the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq. source

McCain is also a military nincompoop 

“there are still massive amounts of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.”
– John McCain, 19 March 2003, shortly before the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq. source

Just before the invasion of Iraq, McCain said the war would be a day at the beach. Years later, when McCain decided to run for President, and the war still going, McCain said he always said the war would be a long and difficult battle, and anyone who said it would be a day at the beach was an idiot.

(here is the transcripts, video link below)

 ”The success (in Iraq) will be fairly easy.” –John McCain 2003

“I believe that we can win an overwhelming victory (in Iraq) in a very short period of time.” –John McCain 2003

 ”Easy.” –John McCain 2003

 ”The American people were led to believe that this would be some kind of day at the beach, which many of us fully understood from the beginning would be a very, very difficult undertaking.” –John McCain, January 2007

“I knew (Iraq) was probably going to be long and hard and tough and those who voted for it and thought somehow it was going to be an easy task, then I’m sorry they were mistaken. They didn’t know what they were voting for.  ” –John McCain, 1-4-2007

video

“Bomb, bomb, bomb. Bomb, bomb Iran. hehehe.” 
–John McCain,  video

McCain on Meet the Press:

Tim Russert: “Here are the sorts of comments we often hear when US troops are overseas: There’s no reason for the US to remain. The American people want them home. I believe the majority of congress wants them home. Our continued military presence allows other situations to arise which could then lead to the wounding, killing or capture of more American fighting men and women. We should do all in our power to do that. What should be the criteria is our immediate, orderly withdrawal. … For us to get into nation-building, law and order, et cetera, I think, is a tragic and terrible mistake.”

John McCain: “My response to that statement is, and what happens when we leave? Listen to all of the experts who will tell you that we can have a situation which will in the long run will entail far greater casualties, far greater dislocation, far greater threats to our national security, than trying to give this an opportunity to succeed.”

Tim Russert: “Those are your words, from (14 October) 1993 about Somolia, and that’s the kind of thing we’re hearing about Iraq now. You felt that way about Somolia when you saw no end in sight. And many Americans are now echoing your words because they see no end in sight.”

Video

Hey, McCain, doesn’t that make you a complete and total FLIP FLOPPER about the ONE THING (military operations) you continually claim total expertise in?

A man with a short fuse in charge of the biggest nuclear arsenal on the planet? The Cuban Missile Crisis would have sparked WW3 and we’d all be buried in a nuclear winter right now.

And if you’re want some more info on just how bad this guy is, try this short video.

McCain would keep the US in Iraq for the next HUNDRED YEARS. insane McCain

Barack Obama correctly assessed the phantom WMD’s and predicted exactly what would happen if we invaded Iraq.

“Saddam poses no imminent and direct threat to the United States, or to his neighbors, that the Iraqi economy is in shambles”
– Barack Obama, 2 Oct 2002, a week before Congress approves Iraq War authorization. source

“I know that even a successful war against Iraq will require a US occupation of undetermined length, at undetermined cost, with undetermined consequences. I know that an invasion of Iraq without a clear rationale and without strong international support will only fan the flames of the Middle East, and encourage the worst, rather than best, impulses of the Arab world, and strengthen the recruitment arm of al-Qaeda.”
– Barack Obama, 2 Oct 2002, a week before Congress approves Iraq War authorization. source

Sarah Palin? Are you kidding me?

A politician whose total experience is summed up as Mayor of a town with a population of ten-thousand people, fifty polar bears, and a couple hundred moose, and then was elected to be Governor of Alaska two years ago?

She’s got so much political expertise that McCain won’t let her speak to the press and answer non-rehearsed questions until someone teaches her where Iraq is on the map, how the Khyber Pass has affected Afghanistan, and how to spell Potatoes.  She is the female equivalent of Dan Quayle in that regard, completely inexperienced politically, though that librarian thing makes her look smarter than Danno.

She’s a politician whose views can be summed up as

1: “as pro-life as any candidate can be” (her own words),

2: abstinence-only sex education (while her underage daughter is pregnant),

3: against same-sex couples getting health benefits (cause, you know, that’s what made Canada and Western Europe sink into the ocean)

4: in favor of teaching creationism in school (and teaching the controversy that aliens may have helped build the pyramids in Egypt).

5: a young earth creationist who thinks dinosaurs and humans coexisted on the planet a mere 6,000 years ago. source

6: into banning books (While Palin was mayor, she asked a librarian what the process would be to ban a book, the librarian said she’d fight any attempts to ban books, Palin then fired the librarian. Only because of public outrage did the librarian get her job back. Word is Palin wanted to ban a book written by Rev. Howard Bess, a liberal Christian preacher from the nearby town of Palmer. source)

7: willing to use her position as Governor to get members of her staff to make dozens of phone calls get the Public Safety Commissioner Walt Monegan to fire her sister’s ex-husband from his job as State Trooper (confession), and willing to fire Monegan because he wouldn’t do her bidding.

8: a hankering for government perks and earmarks, while squawking about being against wasteful government spending

9: and some sort of notion that we’re waging “God’s War” in Iraq and the rest of the world (I think the Ayatollah said something similar)

Politically speaking, she is, for all intents and purposes, a female Pat Buchanan, just a lot easier on the eyes than ol’ dog face. In short, she’s a right wing religious nutjob who sure as hell shouldn’t be given launch codes or be allowed to nominate someone for the Supreme Court (unless you want the US to become a fascist theocracy, that is).

She twice used her position in office to fire people who wouldn’t go along with her personal vendetta’s (a librarian who refused to ban a book by a “liberal” priest, and a state official who refused to fire her sister’s ex-husband).

If anyone is wondering why Palin’s handlers are harping on anything but the issues, it’s because the moment Palin starts expressing her political views, it’ll be abundantly clear that she’s a fascist religious nutjob who wants to impose her God into your bodies, your schools, your taxes, your job, the books you read, and the military operations your sons and daughters will have to carry out in some foreign land.

And when she slips up during an interview and makes it painfully obvious that she doesn’t know what the “Bush Doctrine” even is, the Right Wing knuckleheads suddenly come out of the woodwork and say that said doctrine is too “amorphous” to define in any specific way. Yet, back in 2005, McCain specifically explained what the “Bush Doctrin” was during his own interview.

The Bush Doctrine is a doctrine of cause-less preemptive war. Up until Georgie-Porgie-Puddin-Pie, centuries of international law had drawn a line in the sand saying that a country could preemptively attack a second country if that second country was clearly about to launch an imminent attack against the first. This was usually defined as the mobilization of military forces and such. Georgie decided that put the bar too high and required too much objective evidence that was just too hard to fabricate. So, instead, Georgie came out with a “Doctrine” that said he could invade any country, at any time, for any reason. Even if attack from that country was not emminent.

This “Doctrine”, this idiotic line of “thought”, is exactly the “thinking” that got us into Iraq. Intelligence agencies were saying there was no link between Iraq and 9/11. American and UN weapon inspectors were saying there were no WMD’s in Iraq, and that inspections should be completed in a few months to certify Iraq was free of WMD’s. But because Georgie the Decider made decisions based off how his “gut” happened to “feel” at any particular moment, he felt that we should invade Iraq.

When asked she supported the idea of making Georgia (which directly borders Russia, and which Russia invaded just recently) a member of NATO, Palin said yes. When the interviewer asks if making Georgia a member of NATO, wouldn’t that mean we’d have to go to war with Russia if they invade Georgia again, Palin, like a clueless schoolgirl, says “Perhaps so”. War with Russia?!? Even Vizzini knows never get involved in a land war in Asia. But Palin wants to jump right in.

McCain singing “Bomb, Bomb, Bomb Iran” is nothing more than a continuation of this moronic “Bush doctrine”.

And the reason McCain’s handlers are harping on anything but the issues is because the moment McCain opens his mouth about ANYTHING, it’ll be clear that he’s saying whatever he needs to say to be elected, saying what he needs to say to appeal to his new base of right wing religious nutjobs, and even saying stuff that DIRECTLY CONTRADICTS everything he said even a couple years ago.

That’s why the Republicans are outraged over Obama’s “lipstick on a pig” comment, because it’s avoiding talking about political issues like the economy, Iraq, and so on. That’s why McCain needed a little video reminder that he had used the same “lipstick on a pig” to describe Hillary Clinton and her policies. That’s why McCain took DAYS to come out and say Obama didn’t call Palin a pig, finally, because it distracts from the issues.

http://www.salon.com/opinion/greenwald/2008/08/01/anthrax/index.html

The gist of it appears to be that the anthrax scare was, at the very least, Ivins own personal attempt to link Iraq to the 9/11 attacks. The anthrax letters all came with a letter saying some variation of the following:

09-11-01

This is next.

Take Penacilin Now

Death to America

Death to Israel

Allah is Great

 Worst case, however, the anthrax letters were part of a larger government attempt to “Tonkin” the country into attacking Iraq for 9/11.  The Washington Post’s columnist, Richard Cohen, in an article had stated “I had been told soon after Sept. 11 to secure Cipro, the antidote to anthrax. The tip had come in a roundabout way from a high government official” Cohen was warned, by someone in the government, to get Cipro before the anthrax attacks had started.

The implications of this whole mess deserve a war-handwavium entry or two. What I wanted to point out right now was a bit about John McCain’s reaction back in October 2001 when the anthrax scare was going full throttle. McCain appeared on the David Letterman Show on 18 October 2001.

LETTERMAN: How are things going in Afghanistan now?

MCCAIN: I think we’re doing fine …. I think we’ll do fine. The second phase — if I could just make one, very quickly — the second phase is Iraq. There is some indication, and I don’t have the conclusions, but some of this anthrax may — and I emphasize may — have come from Iraq.

LETTERMAN: Oh is that right?

There was no indication that the anthrax used in these attacks had come from Iraq. Ever. John McCain had zero evidence to support this at the time. And now as more information keeps coming out about Bruce E. Ivins, it is now known that all the anthrax used in the attacks came from a US Army bioweapon research facility. Towards the end of the interview, McCain not only beats the war drum for Iraq, but reveals his idea of foreign diplomacy.

“The crunch time will be if – and emphasize if – we have to go after Iraq.  … World power politics is very interesting. People are very friendly when they know you’re the most powerful kid on the block.”

http://thinkprogress.org/2008/08/01/mccain-anthrax-iraq/

Not only was McCain wrong about the anthrax being from Iraq, not only did he have zero evidence to link it with Iraq, not only does he beat the war drum to invade Iraq, but he shows that his view of diplomacy is little more than war or the threat of war.

Three days later in an interview with Tim Russert, McCain and Joe Lieberman are again trying to connect Iraq with not only 9/11 but also bin Laden and al Queda.

LIEBERMAN:  There is some evidence to suggest that Saddam Hussein may have had contact with bin Laden and the Al Qaeda network, perhaps even involved in the September 11 attack.

Lieberman is wrong on all three counts. Later in the interview:

MCCAIN: Recently, in Rio, I believe, an envelope was received, which gives me the idea that perhaps this is an international organization and not one within the United States of America.

McCain is wrong here too. Later on in the same interview:

RUSSERT: Would you have any problem expanding President Bush’s orders to the CIA to go after Osama bin Laden to include Saddam Hussein?

LIEBERMAN: Well, I leave that to the president. But as a matter of principle and morality, of course not.

RUSSERT: Senator McCain?

MCCAIN: I think Joe’s right.

McCain also puts in some suck-up time to President Bush Jr.

MCCAIN: I think the president is doing a great job in leading America and making us aware of the challenge we face.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/nation/specials/attacked/transcripts/nbctext_102101.html 

This country can’t survive another four years of a war-mongering president at the helm. There will be nothing left of America but a smoldering ruin.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080715/ap_on_el_pr/mccain

21 July 2008: John McCain insisted that he has been consistently right on both Iraq and Afghanistan while Democratic rival Sen. Barack Obama “has been completely wrong.” 

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080721/ap_on_el_pr/mccain

Well, let’s look at that, Senator McCain, shall we? Back in 2002, when Congress was debating the authorization for war against Iraq, you said:

http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Remarks_by_John_McCain_prior_to_the_U.S._invasion_of_Iraq

“when the people of Iraq are liberated, we will again have written another chapter in the glorious history of the United States of America, that we will fight for the freedom of other citizens of the world”

How’s that been working out, Senator McCain? Did the US involvement in Iraq turn into “another chapter in the glorious history” of the US?

In that same speech, you defended Bush, saying “I believe the President of the United States has done everything necessary and has exercised every option short of war, which has led us to the point we are today.”

What does the chapter of the glorious history of Bush Jr. have to say about that, Senator McCain? Do you think we were prepared? Do you think Bush did everything possible to avoid war? Do you think Bush did everything possible to prepare for war?

It would seem your assessment of military prepardness is, in short, utter crap. If you were so wrong in assessing our military prepardness in March 2003, why should we believe you are so much better now?

And finally, at the end of your speech, you said: “I believe that, obviously, we will remove a threat to America’s national security because we will find there are still massive amounts of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.”

Really? Senator McCain? Is that what you thought? After we invaded Iraq and scoured the country for WMD’s, we came up with absolutely nothing. Zero WMD’s, Senator McCain. None. Zilch. Zip. Nada.

If you were so wrong back then in March 2003, why should we believe you’ll be so much better now?

And yet you arrogantly claim to know more about how to win a war than Barack Obama. That Obama is offering misguided military plans? Oh really, Senator McCain? How did your plans turn out so far? March 2003, you appear to have come up zero-for-three. Not a single win, Senator McCain.

By comparison, here’s some excerpts from what Barack Obama was saying around March 2003.

http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Barack_Obama’s_Iraq_Speech

“But I also know that Saddam poses no imminent and direct threat to the United States, or to his neighbors, that the Iraqi economy is in shambles, that the Iraqi military a fraction of its former strength”

Golly gee, Senator McCain, it seems Barack Obama certainly had a better grasp of the phantom WMD menace that you and your buddy Bush Jr were trying to scare the nation with.
Here’s something else Obama said: “I know that even a successful war against Iraq will require a US occupation of undetermined length, at undetermined cost, with undetermined consequences. I know that an invasion of Iraq without a clear rationale and without strong international support will only fan the flames of the Middle East, and encourage the worst, rather than best, impulses of the Arab world, and strengthen the recruitment arm of al-Qaeda.”

Who has a better sense of military plans, Senator McCain? Barack Obama was right on every count here: He predicted that invading Iraq would be far longer than the 6 weeks to 6 months that you and your cronies were saying at the time. He predicted that invading would cost a lot more money than anyone would admit, whereas your buddy Bush and the administration was saying the invasion would “pay for itself” with Iraqi oil. He said that the invasion would be a recruitment poster for al-Qaeda, whereas your buddies in the White House were trying to tell everyone that Iraq was already linked with al Quaeda and was connected to 9/11.

Everything Barack Obama said about Iraq before the invasion was right.

Everything you, Senator McCain, said about Iraq before the invasion was wrong.

If anyone has a track record for being smarter at understanding the reality of military plans, it would seem to be Barack Obama.

And if anyone has a verifiable track record for engaging in war handwavium around military plans, it would seem to be you, Senator McCain. You were part of the smoke and mirrors that helped beat the war drum and lead this nation into our dumbest war in history. You were part of the problem, Senator McCain. And it would seem between the two of you, Obama is clearly a part of the solution.